zbear23

Cali. Many people will not agree with me, but based on many years of intimate work with those in relationships with alcoholics/addicts, I have no doubt that most often the "codependent" is also chemically dependent, and the drug of choice is adrenaline. It is accessed by stuff like fear, anger, outrage, hopelessness, failed attempt to rescue the addict, disappointments, tilting at windmills, etc. If you examine the caring/helping professions,, like nurses, police, firefighters, etc., you'll find a very large percentage are in fact adrenaline junkies (excitement being the trigger for many of them....crisis management, rescuing, chaos, conflict, etc).

This is one explanation why, despite any rational thinking, people remain in relationships with addicts and other abusive partners. Adrenaline is one of the most powerful drugs on the planet, designed eons ago in the service of fight or flight. It makes us literally more powerful than we are normally. It is quite a rush. And the crash can be terribly depressing. We needed it to be alert to sabre tooth tigers. Not so much any more<G>.

The solution that I've witnessed is just the same as that of the alcoholic....a psychic shift brought on by a spiritual awakening. A paradigm shift, so to speak, in which you focus on your own fears: your thoughts, feelings and behaviors; how you have come to perceive yourself in your world, and are you willing to give up the "mind altering" addictive drug to become self regulated by love rather than fear. I regard the entire problem as one of self loathing and the journey into self love.

Anger is an addictive drug. Period. And, like other drugs, seldom does it provide any positive solution to problems.

blessings
zenbear