First thing I want to say is thank you to everyone that comes to this web site and to everyone that made it. These post have been so helpfull, but staying sober has been such a strugle for me. And I'm still trying to figure out how to beet this thing.
I hope I don't sound like one big ramble, but I have been trying to stay sober for the past 8 months and it has been a real strugle and very frustrating. I just made it 33 days and then went back to drinking about 5 days ago. I'm at about 30 hours of being sober and am just so disgusted with myself for going through this process all over again.
I just feel like I'm on this downward spiral of making my life more difficult and misirable for myself, and am really scared that it's not going to stop.
I am so sick of drinking, and so sick of fighting to stay sober. I just wan't this cycle to end and to be normal again. I know it can happen, but I'm doing something wrong here and am worried that I won't be able to figure it out.
I won't go into all the details right now, but life has been really difficult lately and even though my situation could be worse, I just feel like life is slowly caving in on me right now.
I'm sorry for being such a crybaby about this, but right now, especially at hour 30 of being sober again, I just feel like giving up. Right now I feel like I'm working twards a mental breakdown.
I'm really scared that I'm going to loose my mind, and end up being another one that ends up drinking to the point of being alone, depressed and dead.
Once again, thank you everyone for reading and I greatly appreciate any responces or advice.
Dune