welcome jessijoy-
what a heartfelt post from you. i feel it is important to follow your intuition and not second-guess yourself.
i think when exiting, it is best not to make plans that rely on the alcoholic to do something. i found it best to formulate my exit plan in detail prior to communicating anything to my alcoholic.
have you considered going to therapy for yourself or going to alanon? i have found both very helpful in determining what it is i want for my own life, what my boundaries are, and also, for validation of my needs.
naive