confused again....
AH and I have been seperated for I think about 3 weeks now. Of course during that time he has worked on trying to make me feel guilty about his living situation and being away from the kids. Truth be told, though we are seperated he spends alot of time with the kids, maybe more than he did before. Anyway for the past 3 weeks we have been talking alot. I have been feeling very lonely...with 6 kids and a busy life...I just enjoy sharing my day and feelings with someone who understands. So...he still won't really talk about anything. I know...I know some of you are asking yourselves what it is going to take for me to see it isn't going to get any better. Well, so yesterday I caved into my guilt and told him he could come back. Here's the thing though....he didn't. He has complained and complained about his situation, and how much he missed the kids and hates this....and yet won't come back. He texted me and said that when I stop blaming him and admit it is us.....then he'll come back. Let me say that I have never said it was all him, I always knew I owned part of our problems. I felt like this was a slap in the face.....I feel like he expects me just to fall back in line so we can get back to normal. I know that I have given this man chance after chance after chance......and was ready to give it one last hurrah and he refuses. I honestly believe that while he may not like his living situation, he really enjoys the freedom of doing what he wants when he wants and answering to nobody. Does he think this is just some game??? I am exhausted from it all! Thanks goodness I go back to work next week, I think that will keep my head on straight - less time to think about all of this!!