I have spent this whole morning repeating in my head that it is time to end it. I just keep repeating that over & over. I replay the last 8 years and how it has spiraled down to this, and keep trying to give myself the strength that when he wakes up I can once and for all tell him it is done. I have debated since last night on getting a no contact, but honestly, I am afraid of what he would do if I did that. I am hoping that I can catch him before he starts drinking and get him to leave. Easier said than done.