I have noticed that I and a lot of other people appear to wait for the last straw: They wait for the alcoholic to do something that is just so painful and devastating that they just HAVE TO get out in order to survive. It's like we wait for a life-or-death sense of urgency in us. I'm not sure why this is. I think it probably just has something to do with ordinary human motivation AND the fact that you are living in a situation that has made you, admittedly, DEPRESSED. When a person is depressed, it is very hard to do ANYthing extra, much less change your entire life. I hope you get the motivation to do something to change your circumstances soon.