Hi Kitty, it is really time time focus on you, you really need time to heal! As one of the posters put it ''Look above and see HP's arms coming down, hand over everything into HIS loving hands'' and leave them there, this guy has so much to work through and you cannot do it for him, let him go! I am sure once he is gone, he will find himself again. But today, you have to believe in yourself, just for today, only take time out to concentrate on you! He has taken far too much from you, time to LET GO and LET HP take care of things. (((HUGS)))