This morning
I woke up to a message this morning from my X saying "(GF) and I split up.....I am going to Afghanistan."
I don't even know how to process this. I don't think this is a vieled "threat". I think he's going. He's a former marine, and I know he "wants" to go back, he's often said he just wanted to die over there. I know he has survivirs guilt. The list goes on...
Selfishly, the worst thing for me is that I cared about him too....but it wasn't enough. And now he just wants to go die, and wants me to know it. I can't even feel everything right now.... I feel like I was waiting for this moment, and it's here, and I can't feel anything, and I wish they were back together so he wouldn't go.
Not a great day.