phoebe
Welcome to SR. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with an addicted husband. It hurts and we understand the pain, the anxiety, and the confusion that goes along with loving an addict. It really sounds like you are doing all of the things you can to get your life (and the kid's lives) in order. It takes a great deal of strength and courage. You should be very proud of yourself for having that strength and courage.
We all experience good days....and then there are the really really bad ones.....just take them one day at a time. After a bad day, the next day always seems to be a little brighter. Look for the beauty in life.....it's there.
gentle hugs and welcome again to SR