Wow Harry, look at all these replies. A lot of people care about you and that has got to be a great feeling. Here you can find a lot of people who have already been through the same stuff you are going through now. And, a lot of people who are going through that same stuff right now, along with you. What I'm trying to say is, you don't have to do this alone, and as I read, you aren't doing it alone.
Feel good about this one thing. You posted how you felt here at the forum. I don't think you want to give up being sober, not deep inside of you anyway.
Don't give up Harry, don't try taking the easy way out. Nobody ever told me that getting sober was going to be easy, and it isn't. But after I did feel better about what was happening, I knew that this hard work is well worth it. Matter of fact, I'm worth working so hard for.
Keep coming, it does get better.
Harry