ZBEAR
Yep there was definitely a time at the BEGINNING when the make up part of the ride was awesome.
That adrenaline rush of new love, hot sex...
The feeling that people get when they meet someone new who does "it" for them.
Is that codependency or just being bored? Or an adrenaline junky?
The problem is that type of excitement gets old pretty fast. It turns out the great sex isn't really worth it.
That's an interesting theory... but I don't know
The behaviors and reactions come from within us.
I know now that I control my responses, regardless of what is being said or done to me. That is my responsibility alone.
But..
Until I was willing to see that I was the one making myself miserable, not the alcoholic, there was nothing I could (or was willing) to do to change things.Until I stopped blaming the alcoholic for the circumstances in my life, I believed I was a victim of his behavior, of his disease.
When we are in a relationship with someone, alcoholic or not, we are,(not victims) but affected by their actions and behavior.
When the alcoholic drains the bank account or totals the car, believe me - he's getting blamed for those "circumstances" that affect my life and cause me misery.
Can we choose to leave? absolutely we should. But he's still being blamed for it.