Welcome to our little family!
For me, the hardest part was to stop focusing on what I had done wrong:
, on the accusations he threw at me, (blameshifting)
on trying to communicate to him what I needed (for 15 years with no results except for him to be charming and wonderful when I was ready to leave and then bail when I needed him most)
and stop focusing on the abandoment I felt (which made me run after him like a child) and stop the cycle of abuse, pain, disappointment and confusion.
I thought I would die without him. Here's what really happened:
After I moved out, I woke up every morning in my new house, alone with my kids and felt like a little kid at Christmas. That dread and pain that sat on my chest was replaced with soaring joy.
I spend time with people who really DO like me. I let the people who love me do so
I am free of the stomach aches, body aches and other physical ailments I had while living with him
I am supporting myself with little help from him
I am finding out who I am, outside of that sick relationship
I started my own business and am a national industry leader (!)
All this from a piece of **** who couldn't be trusted, didn't care about anyone but herself and is a disgusting person who can't clean the house. Imagine that!!