Welcome to the forum - I think you will find a lot of honest, caring, straight shooting support here from many folks who have been through what you are going through. You did NOTHING wrong - you went to a friend for support when you were frightened. Your husband wants you to keep his drinking and behavior a secret. We are only as sick as our secrets. He wants you to stay in that sick system and not get support so he can continue his behavior. Never be afraid or ashamed to seek help when you feel threatened. It is never the wrong choice.
What are you doing to take care of yourself while you are going through this? Have you reached out to friends again? Eating and sleeping enough? Take care of you with gentle kindness right now. We are here to support you.
