I'm finding lately that I'm not often even sure how to figure out what I need beyond wishing my stomach wasn't tied in knots and I didn't feel like I was going to lose anything I eat or drink - or actually doing so, or knowing that I need more sleep, but can't for more than a couple hours at a time and wake up uneasy or even scared. Much less how to figure out how to get those needs met.
I can SO relate to this, I have been there so I know how bad you are feeling. Sometimes it is all you can do in this life to just keep breathing. Always remember that, if you get so bad and can remember nothing else, it is your job to KEEP BREATHING.
Next what you can do, though, is think and try to figure out what gets your stomach tied up in knots in the first place? With an alcoholic or addict, we get so confused that we become wrapped up in trying to figure out just what is going on. We start to think there is something wrong with us and get more confused. Then we get wrapped up in the "Why?" You don't need to figure any of this out right now. All you need to know is, when does your stomach get in knots? Is it when you are exposed to a particular person? If so, what that means is that, that person is TOXIC and you need to get away from them, and stay away from them. If that means that your minor children who you have custody of may not get to see their other parent for a few weeks while you build up your strength, then that is what that means. YOU are the number one priority. You cannot take care of your child if you are falling apart. So, you have to take care of you first.
I am glad you are going to the support meeting at the shelter. If you become in crisis and there is no crisis line, please go to the hospital. And we are here too.
