Hello! I want to try to sum things up. But I think my drinking goes about 3-4 years back...
However last year I got my first job ever. And I started earning good cash since I still live at home. This cash was mostly spent on alcohol. I guess this is where I turned my party-lust into a problem. I slowly realized already in november/december 2009 that my drinking was turning into a problem. And I wanted to slow down and I tried. But one saturday in January 2010 when I was about to get to work (working as a CSR at a call-centre) I found my father dead on the couch. I called work to stay home for a couple of days. Called them on monday again and told them I needed more time off. Called them again later that day and quit the job.
I still had 2 full monthly salarys to gain from my job at the call-centre. Reaching a total of almost 25k Swedish crowns. about 15-20k of those was spent on alcohol the next 3-4 months (alcohol is expensive in Sweden though).
So yea I guess that's when my problem became a real freaking problem. But I enjoyed it so much. being drunk was so liberating from life!
Now I have my old job back. I have all my friends. I have a girl that I hope to be and that might be my GF soon (she seems to like me atelast
). I have a mom and a sister that loves me even though we fight ALOT. However the alcohol is still there. It's like as soon as I have money I have to spend it on some kind of hard alcoholic drink.
I don't want it to be like this. However I still enjoy the drunkness so much!!! It's like I want to quit for my own health and the health of my relationships etc. but don't want to since it feels so great!
I have seriously no idea on what to do...
