Hm,
I just came from an AA meeting where at least a couple of the men who were present expressed regret about the way they treated their partners when they were drinking. Actually, I hear it quite often, and even when they are talking about women they are now divorced from, and at least one who shoulders part of the blame for his wife's infidelity AFTER he got sober.
I also continue to be good friends with my first husband, who has been sober 30 years, and is as fine a person as you'd ever meet. He always gives me a lot of credit for my role in his early sobriety. Our divorce had more to do with my own wants than any deficit on his end.
So I think that's an awfully broad statement. I don't doubt that it reflects your own experience, but it hasn't been my own observation.