Thanks again SR! I have to want this. i do want to get healthy and not drink. I want this for me!!! I'm always trying to be a people pleaser.... so this is all about me. Whether me and my husband decide the marriage can't go on. I need to stay sober. If I end up single and drinking... i could probably end up in a lot worse situations. So i want to stay sober. I go tomorrow night to AA. I am scared, but ready to change. thanks guys. good night.