WOW... now thats what I call support! thanks you each and every person who replied. Not one person made me feel ashamed. I am definitley looking forward to having support, reading for motivation and providing support for others at this site. I know I can quit drinking to get my husband back. I just have to put my words into action which is probably 100x times harder. I quit drinking one time for 3 months. I got pregnant (i have infertility problems too), then i had a miscarriage which really got me back into drinking, then i had had my third knee surgery which i gained 20 lbs... and got depressed and boozed it up some more. so i'm really looking forward to having friends to lean on during this rough time. take care everyone.