SB - First of all
to SR
I could not help but have a major flashback of the same thing that happened to me many years ago. But this was with my BF's best friend at our house and my BF witnessed it!!!!
Oh yea, the good ol boy brought over a jug of something, we got trashed and the rest was a disaster after I got sh*t faced and he took advantage of me. I felt absolutely horrible since those two guys didn't speak to each other for a long time because of this sleazy incident. Nonetheless, within time things smoothed out. So I know exactly what you are going through.
So SB, it is not the end of the world and you can change yourself beginning with the AA meetings and coming back here for more than enough support. Yes, your first meeting is scary, not knowing what to expect. But you don't have to be a speaker or anything like that, so just be yourself and get close to some of the women there. Trust me, you'll feel so much better getting this off your chest.
I am confident that your husband will forgive you as long as you make that step to quit drinking. You have to be committed to stop drinking since that seems to get US in trouble when we least expect it.
Good luck Dear and keep us posted.