Sorry back again - I'm still chewing on this one, and full disclosure, I think it's because the conversation is so familiar to me:
"Recently, I brought up his reply to the therapist and he said (at first) that maybe that was not totally correct, but then later in the conversation he said he couldn't remember the question OR his answer (!), but if he did say what I remember, then he MIS-SPOKE. Seriously? I said, "I'm sorry, but you were full of $h1t. (C'mon!) So, now he's mad that I am making him out to be a liar when that's not his INTENT. I said it comes across as a lie, regardless of his intent. He says I am going to leave him over meaningless semantics. This is what I mean by nickle and diming me."
This isn't "meaningless" - this is the nut of it. He said, in therapy, out loud, that there is nothing he's uncomfortable talking about with you. This isn't true. You know it, he knows it and it's the reason he didn't want to go back - because he would actually have to follow through with something that a trained therapist heard him say right out loud. He can hedge, he can say that he misspoke, he can argue about intent. But I've been in your shoes. And when there is an ever increasing list of radioactive topics that you "cannot" discuss with your significant other (or are met with shutdown, retribution, manipulation when you do bring them up) then emotional honesty or intimacy become impossible.
And is it worth sitting in therapy with him if you can't believe anything that he says in there or he says months later that your interpretation of his "intent" was off? This is assuming that he "eventually" (a year/ two more years?) lets his guard down and then says something he actually means. (Quack, quack, gaslight ...)
Ok, am done now - I think I'm a little triggered so forgive me if this is an onslaught.
You sound like you are making huge strides for yourself. This is just my two cents worth.
Hugs (again)
SL