Hi Puppy Girl,
It sounds like you have hit the hopeless and helpless feeling of living with someone who drinks in a way that effects you, nothing you say or do is working.
It never will and you will only harm yourself further by continuing to beat yoursef up about it. Al-anon is a good starting point, or this forum if you cant get to a meeting, but once you learn that you didnt cause it, can control it, or cure it, things do get easier.
The only assertive thing you can do is say that you will leave him if he continues to drink and follow through! - Say it and mean it.
I am sorry you are going through this, I know that feeling well but look after yourself.