I know that no good can come of beating myself up or continuing to want answers to so many things... but my mind keeps grazing on all the lies... its still so fresh... the wound is still open... and if there is anything I hate, it's not understanding the hows and whys of something, especially related to my broken heart.
I found an Nar-Anon chapter 20minutes from me and they meet tomorrow night, so I've made child care arrangements for my children so I can attend.
BTW, since I haven't said so already, Thank You SOO much to everyone for All your thoughts and feelings. I'm no stranger to chat forums and the ladies on my parenting forum have seen me through a Lot of different things in my life in the last 6years, but this time I really felt the need to be in the presence of those who have gone before me.