Daydream, You ask why the unfaithfullness, and you keep wondering about that. Most addicts are big time liars. They lie for no reason sometimes. It comes with the disease. It's a very common feature that goes right along with the addiction. Addiction is a very selfish disease. And lying is a very big part of it. You need to let it go, and give it over to your higher power. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this rough blow, but Freedom is right. Cheating is cheating, and don't take that on to yourself. That's about him, not you. So let it go, and hopefully love or no love, you can let him go. You cannot love someone that doesn't love themselves. It won't work. Because if he doesn't love himself, he can't love you. Sorry.