While I was attending meetings, I was just sitting there paying lip service.
I eventually stopped going to meetings.
I stopped doing all the things I had previously done to stay clean/sober.
It's said that an addict is already loaded in their head 3 months before they use again.
That was true for me.
I find it telling that it was 3 months ago he graduated the court drug program, and then quit meetings a month after that.
As I said in my prior post, the lion's share of folks out there doing court-ordered recovery stuff have no interest in continuing recovery once they are off of paper.
I've seen it happen over and over the past 24 years.
There is no rhyme or reason to why he chose to pick up and use again. The fact is that he did.
There is no excuse. He made the choice.
It's your choice what you want for the rest of your life.
Don't hinge your reality and your future off of him, please.
When I relapsed, I was involved with someone in recovery, and he relapsed after 2 years.
It didn't take me long to follow.
Instead of working through the pain, letting him go, and continuing on with my recovery, I chose to pick up and use again.
I will never ever hinge my reality and my future off of someone else.
My recovery is precious to me, and so is my self-esteem and dignity.
:ghug3