I too was raised in a Catholic home where religion was shoved down my throat, and I still do not practise nor believe in organized religion. But I was always into ghosts and otherworldly things and always in awe of nature that I saw around me. Those are where I've placed my HP (don't call it God). There are things on this earth beyond me and bigger than me. My educational background also feeds into this - I can't see radio waves yet they exist. How the heck can a telephone work? How does a huge ocean liner sit on water and yet if I step in it I sink? Birds can see different sprectrums of light than I, dogs hear different wavelengths than I. Everywhere around us are things beyond our knowledge, and this is where I derive my HP. I think of it this way - If I have the choice to carry a burden or unload it somewhere (anywhere), why not unload. This clears my shoulders to open myself up to something better. Like dropping the luggage onto the trolley in the lobby so that I can take brochures for fun stuff I'd like to do on vacation. Of course I have no idea if there is something there to take my burdens, but if they're off of me, that's ok! Nothing religious about it. I respect others and what they say in Al Anon even if it doesn't work for me. Take what you like and leave the rest. In my opinion I usually hear a lot of helpful things, more so than things I don't like, so it keeps me coming back.
I too am a caretaker, always have been. But I have learned that taking care of myself makes me a better person which in turns helps me to care for those in my life in a better way. When I am a happy and relaxed mommy because I took some quiet time in the morning and had a massage, then I pass that happiness to my daughter. Before, the way I was caretaking was by withdrawing from my bank account and building up the wealth of others, and that just left me empty and them filled. Doing it for yourself first only means you can have something in the bank too, and it doesn't mean you stop caring for others. Learning the line between caretaking for the sake of providing love and support however, is different than taking over the lives of others and directing them. That line is blurred with many of us, and when first stepping back, it can feel unloving and cruel. In the long run you'll get over that hump and then you start to feel positive effects. I've used the analogy before - that instead of cheering from the sidelines, I'd step into the game and score the goals for my husband. In that way, I took his ability to play the game away, and that is not my right to do.