Originally Posted by
DayDreamBelever 
This letter will be read by no one except the members of this forum.
my children, my family, my friends, all think he's been working 3rds for the past week. I've no one to talk to about this besides his mother. After that Congo last night, and everything I've discovered this past week, I've been asking myself that exact question. I feel 100 emotions a day. I feel lost more than anything. Heart break and heart ach I've known all too well in my time... but this is different in so many ways. I border sometimes between the brink of tears and numbness. I don't yet know how to cope with this.... so I came to find a place where others might understand what I'm going through.
It's great that you wrote this and decided to get it out. Writing your feelings is very healthy and healing. Usually when an addict relapses he thinks he can use one time without anyone knowing. And then ofcourse he is an addict so it doesn't work that way. The reason why is the Addiction. He has that addicted brain. You and I both know the relapse happens long before he put the pipe in his mouth. His addiction has nothing to do with you. It's all about him. I'm sorry that your so hurt and worried. These are the chances we take when we love our addicts.
:ghug3