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Old 07-27-2010, 09:07 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Wilde10
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: London
Posts: 266
I know you told him, but this is probably enough even if he got angry. As I have been told here, probably the details can only be harmful - This was my big connundrum: how to explain the amount of lies, the betrayal behind the drinking. It is normal he is shocked and feels a bit cheated. In my particular case, as I said too, it is going to damage the relationship but it is impossible to live with someone, stop drinking and not explaining anything at all.

SR has made me see it is possible to say it and to do it without vomitting all the crap behind it. It would be awesome to get real understanding from our partners. But I guess this is not always the case, and we must still live with it. In any case you did the right thing telling him. If he is angry because of the hiding, he should understand that you have precisely stop the hiding. And that you are far more sad than he is about this decision. It is much more difficult for you to acknowledge the problem, quit and confessing than for him to understand all this sequence.

Your relationship will probably survive. Try to keep focus on yourself a little bit. We are all in a huge emotional roller coaster at this point in recovery as many long-timers explain here. We probably cannot see it clearly until it passes.

I understand how hard it is for you, because under different circumstances we are sharing the same boat. Try to not put too much value on his reaction. I am saying all this like a mantra (pretty long though) to convince myself..
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