Bubblehead,
It is going to be a rough route if you feel your partner is disgusted by who you are. You will not be able to hide forever.
It is not only that 'others' judge women harder... they do. It is part of the pathriarcal society to require higher 'ethical standards' to women, higher standards in general: how we look, how we behave, the children. I mean, you cannot even afford to fart if you are a woman. But the most difficult part is that we judge ourselves harder. this is obviously very raw stereotyping that, as all stereotypes, are true in general, but never true in the particular case, if you see what I mean.
You cannot afford this at all. You have two choices: 1) Keep the drinking up, hiding, etc or 2) stop it altogether and inform your husband about it. The time for explanations may come later, if you decide so. I have got very good advice here. Hope it helps you. Do not beat yourself up.