I'm what you consider a "double winner" heck.. probably triple or quad..alcoholic/addict in recovery, raised in alcoholic/addict homes, been in love with addict/alcoholic men. I read and post int he substance, abuse room, alcoholism room, this one, F&F of subtance abusers etc.. we are all not that different..we just have different addictions. Like the OP mentioned she couldn't believe how selfish those alcoholics seem in their posts..we alcoholics wonder why codies are so meddling, and willing to give their lives up to "us". As soon as we realize we're fighting the same battle, and not from different sides, true healing can be done, I believe. There will be alcoholics who drink themselves to the grave, and lots of codies following right behind wondering how they can fix it..there will be alcoholics who embrace recovery and live the rest of their beautiful lives with their healthy indepenent loved ones. There will be some mixture of those 'ends' to every story here.. you are the author of your part. How does yours end?