LOL,
Hey, as a "double winner" I know that I am the center of the universe whether I am the alcoholic or the martyr living with one.
I'm happy to find this forum, as I no longer am living with alcoholics but my first taste of recovery came from Al-Anon, and I certainly have some E, S & H to share in this department!
I was lucky enough to attend the AA International in San Antonio a few weeks ago (many Al-Anon events there, as well), and I remember one of the speakers at one of the "Big Meetings" (in the Alamodome) talked about his wonderful wife and commented, "God bless all the Al-Anons. We get a lot of 'transfers' from them." (Big laugh all around.)
Years ago when I was newly separated from my second alcoholic husband, I attended a group that was neither AA nor Al-Anon (the group would not have been consistent with the Traditions), but we alternated with an AA speaker and readings and discussions one week, and Al-Anon the next. While there were a lot of couples that attended, there were also a lot of singles and it was a great eye-opener for everyone to see how the "other half" lives.
My first husband is now happily sober for over 30 years. The second one is, so far as I know, still drinking himself to death. I am grateful to both of them. When I finally was ready to admit defeat in my own battle with the bottle, both of their examples helped to get me into the rooms of AA.
I have a wonderful friendship with my first husband, who has been an invaluable support in my own journey. Al-Anon kept me from losing my sanity when my second husband went back to drinking after almost dying (week-long coma, liver/kidney failure, whole nine yards).
Keep comin' back!