Fourth Step Blues
Hello all. My name is Laura and today I have 135 twenty-four hours clean and sober. About 4 weeks ago I started working on my fourth step, thought I was finished, met with my sponsor to do the fifth, and we decided I needed to go back and work on the third again. Now I am back to the fourth, and I am struggling again. I know many people do not make it through their fourth step, and I do not want to be one of those people. I am tired of the emotional and spiritual bankruptcy that comes with my drinking and drugging. I have done everything my sponsor has asked me to: pray everyday and before I work on the step, be honest with myself and her, work for progress, not perfection, and still I keep having this mental block. I wonder if it is my perfectionism that is keeping me from finishing it. I don't know how to know if it is finished. I don't know how to be satisfied that it is good enough. I am looking for some experience, strength, and hope to help me through this difficult stage in my recovery.
Thank you all-
Laura