I agree with you about the underlying problems, Ainslie. At least in my case I feel that the alcohol is secondary to the underlying problems -- a couple in particular. I don't think it's that way for everyone, though, and sometimes it's difficult for people to relate to situations that don't mirror their own. I don't think anyone means to be intolerant, but a certain amount of zealotry about one's own program is probably necessary for many people to overcome such a life consuming problem. When I try to think about it that way, and assume good intentions from others regardless of our differences, I believe it helps me to be less judgmental in return.
That said, I did feel the need to hide out here in Secular Connections for awhile because I was feeling a bit pressured by other people's good intentions elsewhere. That wasn't about anyone else, though, it was about my own lack of confidence.