I'm new here too and relate tremendously to what you are saying. I wish sometimes that I could have a lobotomy and completely forget his face, our life together, and so forth. Haven't found a neurosurgeoun willing to do that one yet though :P At times, I can see the potential for what I could have with another partner. At other times, I can't bear to give up the few really special memories - the unique and wonderful things about us.
The pain is raw. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I slept 2 1/2 hours last night after working 4 days in a row as a nurse!! Usually first day off I sleep 12 hours. Bleh.