yes unforyunately they can have an will continue to do so, like if my kidneys need a transplant at some stage ive been told im way not a priority an could well die before getting it cos of my history.
Doc rang, wrote even rehab faxed a letter but nope wont admit me.
I;m headed to a friends in Port Lincoln in 5-9days time to do the last stretch when i "jump" completely cold turkey so im able to be cared for he is trained in first aid an used to work as a carer...as for NA i work with my sponsor only for reasons im not willing to discuss, adelaides fellowship leaves LOTS AN LOTS to be desired. the steps are not my priority at this point ive stopped nearly, one ? a day is it as im just to unwell to emotionally upset myself morr...she is away at present.
I have a psyche i see once weekly whenim actually able to leave the house, I was rold recently i have one the worst cases of PTSD she'd seen in 15-20years, which blew me away...cause i just keep going ya know, i have to, its my kids who will be effed up like me if i dont jsut keep doing this thing called life.
I see a slvation army drug ciunselor once weekly to fortnightly at the outside.
I have in place masses of that stuff.
i know what needs to be done, it doesnt take much of a geneius lol to work it out, ive attempted out here to deal with the trauma, night mares day terrors etc etc i am unable to, i need the security of a community isolated away from where i am, where i am very very well known & i actually need to complete the cycle tea, far out, i been here before...done full circle back to here just like before.
This time ineed to stay for the duration, have in place supports an plans ready to go an already going in the pipelines befor my entry to kuitpo..like my housing transfer, thats in an approved priority one up to 2years wait, i will have gone close to 10months by time i complete program so then i can push a bit harder too, its imperitive i move, this pklace to small an too much here frompast, all workers actually agree with me on this but its bout being far enough removed that i cant access this crud drug as much as not having to face my pasr in slow motion everybloomin where i go cos thats what its like here an i loathe with passion where i kive, that is completely counter productive to begin with.
do you guys get what im saying\?
I guess hindsight fromlast time in kuitpo is a good thing too, or i would not be being as smart an almost calculated with the planning an actioning of going in there this time.
its draing that side though alone let alone all the physical stuff, truth be known i do the other to combat feeling the physical stuff.