jade09, I'm realizing that I crave something that doesn't actually exist. What I want is the feeling that lasts only about 5 minutes, if that.
I think, "if I drink I'll feel good for a long time." But I don't. I feel good for about five minutes followed by hours or days of misery.
The beast is messing with my mind, it promises me something it can't follow through on. One drink or an ocean of drinks won't make that lie a reality.
lol, I just realized it's like those late-night infomercials. They claim they can make you skinny or pretty or rich, and you know that's bs, but you want to buy it anyway and then be disappointed, of course, by the results.