want it so bad
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: On my way
Posts: 173
want it so bad
So it's going on 7 months, feelin pretty good i guess, but i'm feeling such a void in my life. pretty sad and pathetic that i love drinkin that much, but i'm just being honest, I LOVE IT--and i miss it......
Everything in my life has turned around and has improved since this last quit, but i can't seem to stop thinkin of it, wantin it, wondering why i can't, haha
i know what i need to do, and i know why i can't go back, but that does not seem to stop me from these thoughts, and the longing for it.....
one day i'm sure this will pass, but will this WANT ever go away??
so tired of trying to convince myself this is what i want
Everything in my life has turned around and has improved since this last quit, but i can't seem to stop thinkin of it, wantin it, wondering why i can't, haha
i know what i need to do, and i know why i can't go back, but that does not seem to stop me from these thoughts, and the longing for it.....
one day i'm sure this will pass, but will this WANT ever go away??
so tired of trying to convince myself this is what i want
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1
hi jade09,
i find for me that if I get to a meeting and look for someone else-some other suffering alcoholic to help it usually takes me out of my alcoholic mind and helps with the cravings. I also pray to my higher power as I know I am not strong enough to get through the day on my own accord.
i find for me that if I get to a meeting and look for someone else-some other suffering alcoholic to help it usually takes me out of my alcoholic mind and helps with the cravings. I also pray to my higher power as I know I am not strong enough to get through the day on my own accord.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi again Jade
I think most of us can have fond memories reoccur - maybe I was lucky in a sense that I drank to the point there were no good times left...
Are you sure you're not romancing the drink?
Was it really that good?
Do your earlier posts here bear that idea out?
In the end, I just had to accept that I was an alcoholic.
I could drink OR I could keep the sober life I'd spent so long and so much effort in building up - it's one or the other I'm afraid - however unfair that may seem.
That being said, I felt a void too...alcohol was my constant companion for nearly two decades, so it's natural I guess...
I don't know what will fill your personal void, Jade, but I know there's far better ways than alcohol or drugs.
Service work helped me, like Victor suggested
Seek out anything and everything that might give you meaning and purpose or make you content fulfilled and happy.
Make your sober life so good, and so full, so *you* that to return to the old life becomes ludicrous.
Wherever the answer is, I promise it ahead of you Jade - not behind
D
I think most of us can have fond memories reoccur - maybe I was lucky in a sense that I drank to the point there were no good times left...
Are you sure you're not romancing the drink?
Was it really that good?
Do your earlier posts here bear that idea out?
In the end, I just had to accept that I was an alcoholic.
I could drink OR I could keep the sober life I'd spent so long and so much effort in building up - it's one or the other I'm afraid - however unfair that may seem.
That being said, I felt a void too...alcohol was my constant companion for nearly two decades, so it's natural I guess...
I don't know what will fill your personal void, Jade, but I know there's far better ways than alcohol or drugs.
Service work helped me, like Victor suggested
Seek out anything and everything that might give you meaning and purpose or make you content fulfilled and happy.
Make your sober life so good, and so full, so *you* that to return to the old life becomes ludicrous.
Wherever the answer is, I promise it ahead of you Jade - not behind
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Montana
Posts: 142
jade09, I'm realizing that I crave something that doesn't actually exist. What I want is the feeling that lasts only about 5 minutes, if that.
I think, "if I drink I'll feel good for a long time." But I don't. I feel good for about five minutes followed by hours or days of misery.
The beast is messing with my mind, it promises me something it can't follow through on. One drink or an ocean of drinks won't make that lie a reality.
lol, I just realized it's like those late-night infomercials. They claim they can make you skinny or pretty or rich, and you know that's bs, but you want to buy it anyway and then be disappointed, of course, by the results.
I think, "if I drink I'll feel good for a long time." But I don't. I feel good for about five minutes followed by hours or days of misery.
The beast is messing with my mind, it promises me something it can't follow through on. One drink or an ocean of drinks won't make that lie a reality.
lol, I just realized it's like those late-night infomercials. They claim they can make you skinny or pretty or rich, and you know that's bs, but you want to buy it anyway and then be disappointed, of course, by the results.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
The beast is messing with my mind, it promises me something it can't follow through on. One drink or an ocean of drinks won't make that lie a reality.
This is SO true. I used to drink to relax but it only made me more anxious, not to mention sick. Now I rarely get cravings to drink and when I do think of drinking I get a kind of 'sick' feeling, knowing what's at the end of that drink.
Don't fall for the big lie...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: London, England
Posts: 211
Hey Jade, to kind of echo some people here, if you can find a possible passion and love to fill that great big hole that we all have in our soul as addicts I have found that to be the best way that people find serenity in their recovery. Be it fitness, spirituality, AA, charity work, whatever it may be for you that is positive and gives your life purpose I think is an amazing way to actually heal and be emotionally sober rather than "just not drinking"
Hope you feel better soon xx
Hope you feel better soon xx
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