Hey you guys! I came back to all these nice check-ins, thank you.
I was away on rather an epic business trip yesterday, which ended up affording me time to think while on the train. I realized that when I'd made the decision about the apartment I'd been 1. in a panic and 2. 100% alone, neither of which is a good place to make life-changing decisions.
So I called the woman and said I didn't want the apartment after all, which was fine because she had someone else who was keen.
Thanks to you-all, I've decided it's weird that I haven't reached out to anyone about this. I mean, I'm a private person and I'll always be that way, but that's different from getting help when you need it. Sheesh. I'm not keen on groups but I've looked into counseling.
So regarding Himself: it's nice that he's got this "not anymore" attitude. And at the same time, who knows how it will turn out? It could be that in five years I'll be like, "...and that's when he stopped drinking! So glad we weathered it through!" And it could also happen that he comes home drunk tonight, and I'll be like, "Why did I give up that apartment?" But that's entirely up to him so it's not worth worrying about.
But if it's something like the latter situation and I do decide to move out later, there will be other apartments. And anyway it would make more sense to talk to someone and sort out my finances, transport, etc., instead of just jumping on the first place available.
So that's me.