Freedom1990

I called my 32 year old AD yesterday. I'm not even sure why as I expected nothing less than lies from her.

My 14 year old granddaughter is now being allowed to date a 21 year old.

All those old ugly emotions washed over me from when Amber ran away at age 15 after AD introduced her to a 24 year old man behind my back.

This was when I had allowed AD to temporarily stay with me, against my better judgment, after she had served a lengthy sentence on felony drug charges.

She introduced Amber to smoking pot. They were drinking beer after I went to bed and hiding the empties in the 2nd story bedroom closet. She left a wreckage behind like a nuclear holocaust, and that was my bottom with her. She's still not welcome in my home.

I decided to make the phone call yesterday after I had heard from my mother about my granddaughter wanting money to get her hair bleached back to its original color.

I checked on Facebook to see if granddaughter had posted anything about changing her hair color because she's at the age now she unfortunately lies to us.

There was a picture of her kissing the BF, which was extremely disturbing for me to see.

His birth date shows he's 21, he says in his description he's 19, granddaughter told my mother he's 16, and when I talked to AD, she said he's 18. I'd be willing to bet on the 21.

Regardless, I kept the conversation short. I didn't raise my voice or judge. I simply asked, after AD said he was 18 (and I knew I wasn't going to get the truth), if that was okay with her. She said yes it was, and they were never unsupervised, which is another lie.

Granddaughter doesn't have access to a computer at AD's, but posts to FB from her cell phone, and my feed recently showed an update where a bunch of them were out at the lake, unsupervised, of course having a grand time. AD didn't have any reply for that one.

I simply told her thanks for the info, and hung up.

I just feel so incredibly sad today, and I will allow myself to feel that sadness, and move on. The tentacles of this disease reach from generation to generation, and I am powerless over my granddaughter and the choices she is making, along with her mother's approval.

What I am grateful for is I have had my granddaughter every chance I could get. She was with me more than her mother right after she was born as they only lived 2 houses down, and I was convenient for a babysitter.

I don't regret having her any of those times for a second. She has always known that my house is a safe place to come to. She knows she is loved. I watched her grow up over the years more than her mother.

Now she's making choices that may very well impact her for years to come, and I'm going to have faith that God is present in her life as well as mine.

I'm detaching with an intensity I've never had with my granddaughter before, and life will go on, won't it?

Thanks for letting me share my sadness today. This too shall pass.