My brother has shared our home for 3 years. (He's 48 now.) This past February, after LOADS of drama, he entered rehab for alcohol and drugs.
Because we found out that he had been selling pot from here, I threatened not to let him move back in with us once he got out of rehab.
He asked for another chance, and after speaking with his counselor and setting up some ground rules, we agreed to give him another chance. One of the rules was absolutely no alcohol or drugs on our property, and if we found out about any, he'd have to move. His counselor told us that these were good rules, and my brother agreed to them before moving back in with us.
Today I saw two boxes full of empty beer cans in his entryway. They were right in plain sight. (He's very smart and sneaky, so I'm not sure why he was so careless leaving empties where I'd see them, unless he wanted me to see them.)
We figured he'd try to say they belonged to somebody else, so I looked in his refrigerator--there was beer in there.
My sister also found a pot pipe and a baggie hidden in a cigarette pack. I thought I had smelled pot coming from his apartment one night recently, but thought I was imagining it. I guess I wasn't.
I'm tired of being a doormat, and getting taken advantage of by my brother. Though I love him dearly, I can't live with the drama of his drinking/drugging any more. He broke our trust (again), and needs to find a new place to live.
I told him he has until the end of this month to find a new place to live, and that we'd be changing the locks on December 1st. I knew without that specific deadline he wouldn't bother looking for a new place. He'd figure it would just blow over and I wouldn't mention it again.
I know I'll probably never understand what goes on in an alcoholic's mind. I don't know why he put his place to live at risk by going back to drinking. All I know is that I'm VERY sad tonight. I'm doing my best to tell myself that I'm not being a "bad guy", and it's not my fault that he chose to drink again even after knowing what the rules are. I hate having to boot my brother out of our house right before the holidays.
I just feel sad and awful tonight. I also tend to teeter, and second guess myself about whether we did the right thing. That's why I'm writing tonight.
Did I do the right thing?
Becky