Hi IAnOH,
You have found the right place. This is where everyone understands what you are going through and there is help here 24/7, seriously, post something at 3:00am and see what happens, it's great. Anyway, just wanted to share that I can relate to your quote:
“Awe you can have just one.”
I have been sober for a little more than two months now and that is the main thing that I struggle with, knowing that I will never be able to have another alcoholic drink for the rest of my life. The last time I had just one it kicked off a six year bender deleting the three and a half month sobriety I was so proud of. I don't post too often but I still come here and read a lot which really helps me remember why I am getting sober. After being sober It's easy to forget the problem I have with alcohol and I think I am normal now and can drink . That's why coming here helps to remember the reasons, at least for me. Especially the newer member posts, not that I am a grizzled sobriety veteran.
Just wanted to let you know that reading your post today helped me more than you know. Here's the broken record once again, "One day at a time". That really helps me with the perspective. For myself I've coupled that with "Today was tomorrow yesterday".
I wish you the best of luck. Do it for yourself.
Flip