Start of a possibly healthy relationship...
I tried to find my other thread, but I think it was lost in the server crash...
So I just wanted to post a short update on how it's going with my new guy.
I know many of you here advised me to run for the hills after discovering that he is a Recovering Alcoholic/Addict and has been clean/sober for 14 months now. I really thought long and hard if I wanted to do this. Would it be worth the possible turmoil it will add to my life? Would it be worth the risk? Both to him and to me?
I decided it would be. So we have been "dating" for a little over a month now, and all seems to be going very well. We talk about everything... he really surprises me with his attitude towards honesty, and tells me EVERYTHING that he is thinking LOL! I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but he is also almost 21 years older than me... which also added another dimension of confusion to the situation, but so far that really hasn't been an issue. We really do seem very compatible in almost every regard.
He is very open about his past and says I can feel free to ask him anything. He was absolutely elated when I told him I had gone to an Al-anon meeting and he really encouraged me to keep going if I wanted to. He got me a copy of the Narcotics Anonymous book which I am currently reading.
I truly think that since we are both coming into this from a position of knowing about him and where he is at in his recovery that it can only be a positive thing. My earlier fears that I wouldn't ever want to be the cause of his relapse have been somewhat eased when he told me that even if we broke up right now he has been given the tools to be able to handle it. He even said that he was drawn to me from the first moment he saw me in the kitchen over a year ago, and when he finally started letting me know it (around Oct/Nov of last year - AFTER he had graduated the recovery program) and I initially brushed him off repeatedly, he said his old self would have just said well screw her, I don't need this, if she doesn't like me then I'm just going to move on. Instead he was really patient and waited until I reciprocated. He says now that it was definitely worth the wait LOL!
I am also glad we waited until now to start any type of a relationship, and I told him that as well... any sooner and it likely wouldn't have worked.
Anyway I just thought I would post and share that hopefully this thing will actually work out well in the long run. I will keep you posted periodically on how things are going...
Big Hugs,
T