I joined here back in 2005,I cant really remember posting or how long I kept Sober but I can imagine it must have been for a day or two..Anyway I am back again for help and this time I am More serious than ever.
I have drank since I was 15 yrs, my father was a heavy drinker so I guess I inherited his Genes. I am now 52 so I have supped a lot of Beer in my time. I am lucky my Liver isn't shot by now.
I had my last drink on 8th July last week and my decision to stop was because in that week my life was a Haze. A friend told me I was Mortal drunk when I popped to her home, two doors from me, where I shared a Spliff with her, I have no recollection of this, I only remember waking up the next morning fully Clothed in bed with a Huge Depression and feeling pretty Ill after Four days of Binge Drinking.
I decided there and then that enough was enough. My grown up Kids were once again disgusted with me and I felt Thoroughly ashamed. When I binge Drink I don't eat food because it will interfere with The Drinking.
At the moment I feel on top of the world, I feel fit, happy and doing day to day tasks that I have ignored for Months. I don't miss the Booze, I never do once I stop ( which is always around about 1-3 weeks ) I just have to learn to say No to Pals who invite me for a few drinks. Today I was invited to two different Homes of Friends who were having a Barbecue and a few drinks, I refused and felt so proud of myself.
My friends, unlike me, can have a few drinks then nothing until a Few days later but I can't stop once I start, I love the Buzz of it but hate the next morning because I cant get out of bed and when I do I cant wait for another drink and so the Binge continues.
I also realise that I am showing myself up in front of my neighbours because I am usually slurring my words, I also Love my family and don't want to hurt them anymore so here goes...I have never been more determined than this before. I need to be Normal like other decent Mothers and make my kids feel proud of me.
