Hello Everyone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 196
Hello Everyone
I joined here back in 2005,I cant really remember posting or how long I kept Sober but I can imagine it must have been for a day or two..Anyway I am back again for help and this time I am More serious than ever.
I have drank since I was 15 yrs, my father was a heavy drinker so I guess I inherited his Genes. I am now 52 so I have supped a lot of Beer in my time. I am lucky my Liver isn't shot by now.
I had my last drink on 8th July last week and my decision to stop was because in that week my life was a Haze. A friend told me I was Mortal drunk when I popped to her home, two doors from me, where I shared a Spliff with her, I have no recollection of this, I only remember waking up the next morning fully Clothed in bed with a Huge Depression and feeling pretty Ill after Four days of Binge Drinking.
I decided there and then that enough was enough. My grown up Kids were once again disgusted with me and I felt Thoroughly ashamed. When I binge Drink I don't eat food because it will interfere with The Drinking.
At the moment I feel on top of the world, I feel fit, happy and doing day to day tasks that I have ignored for Months. I don't miss the Booze, I never do once I stop ( which is always around about 1-3 weeks ) I just have to learn to say No to Pals who invite me for a few drinks. Today I was invited to two different Homes of Friends who were having a Barbecue and a few drinks, I refused and felt so proud of myself.
My friends, unlike me, can have a few drinks then nothing until a Few days later but I can't stop once I start, I love the Buzz of it but hate the next morning because I cant get out of bed and when I do I cant wait for another drink and so the Binge continues.
I also realise that I am showing myself up in front of my neighbours because I am usually slurring my words, I also Love my family and don't want to hurt them anymore so here goes...I have never been more determined than this before. I need to be Normal like other decent Mothers and make my kids feel proud of me.
I have drank since I was 15 yrs, my father was a heavy drinker so I guess I inherited his Genes. I am now 52 so I have supped a lot of Beer in my time. I am lucky my Liver isn't shot by now.
I had my last drink on 8th July last week and my decision to stop was because in that week my life was a Haze. A friend told me I was Mortal drunk when I popped to her home, two doors from me, where I shared a Spliff with her, I have no recollection of this, I only remember waking up the next morning fully Clothed in bed with a Huge Depression and feeling pretty Ill after Four days of Binge Drinking.
I decided there and then that enough was enough. My grown up Kids were once again disgusted with me and I felt Thoroughly ashamed. When I binge Drink I don't eat food because it will interfere with The Drinking.
At the moment I feel on top of the world, I feel fit, happy and doing day to day tasks that I have ignored for Months. I don't miss the Booze, I never do once I stop ( which is always around about 1-3 weeks ) I just have to learn to say No to Pals who invite me for a few drinks. Today I was invited to two different Homes of Friends who were having a Barbecue and a few drinks, I refused and felt so proud of myself.
My friends, unlike me, can have a few drinks then nothing until a Few days later but I can't stop once I start, I love the Buzz of it but hate the next morning because I cant get out of bed and when I do I cant wait for another drink and so the Binge continues.
I also realise that I am showing myself up in front of my neighbours because I am usually slurring my words, I also Love my family and don't want to hurt them anymore so here goes...I have never been more determined than this before. I need to be Normal like other decent Mothers and make my kids feel proud of me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Pleased to meet you Kitey! 
Your life sounds like a duplicate of mine where my Dad was a heavy drinker and us kids picked up on his bad habits. Of my three brothers, two of them are alcoholics. At one point in time our whole family was sober up until just recently since I had to drink a 12 pack a day to survive.
I am so happy I found SR since I don't have the courage to break the bad news to my family. They pretty much disowned me a few years back from my drinking and don't want a repeat of that.
Now if I can just get through these first couple days of withdrawals, I'll be set.
Stay sober with us and enjoy life!
Your life sounds like a duplicate of mine where my Dad was a heavy drinker and us kids picked up on his bad habits. Of my three brothers, two of them are alcoholics. At one point in time our whole family was sober up until just recently since I had to drink a 12 pack a day to survive.
I am so happy I found SR since I don't have the courage to break the bad news to my family. They pretty much disowned me a few years back from my drinking and don't want a repeat of that.
Now if I can just get through these first couple days of withdrawals, I'll be set.
Stay sober with us and enjoy life!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by SixStringZen 
Your last drunk sounds like my last drunk....and neither of us ever have to feel like that again....
Keep up the good work and fight the good fight...
SSZ
Keep up the good work and fight the good fight...
SSZ
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hi Kitey!
I'm glad you're here. I can relate to so much in your post. One of the biggest steps for me was accepting that I can't drink like other, non-alcoholics do. They don't have the obsession with drinking like me.
One sign for me was, like you said, they drink and stop after a few without any planning, counting the cans, or wondering where and when they'll get the next one. One of my biggest surprises was how they could do this at a lunch time barbeque. I could hold myself off from starting to drink until 7, 8, 9 pm but once I had the first, they had to keep coming until I went to sleep (on a good night), passed out (on a not so good night), or blacked out (horrible night). I lost control of planning which night I would have, like spinning the wheel of fortune. Some of my worst blackout episodes were on nights when I was in a great mood and some of my happy-tuck-myself-into-bed-early nights were when my mood was terrible. What an exhausting and frightening cycle.
My fantasy at the time (through a deluded mind) was to pretty much drink all the time. I never wanted the party to end, but the nasty, daily hangovers always got in the way. I can also relate to the urge to drink even on the days when you can barely get out of bed. Those were the days when I wanted to drink more than any other to get rid of the hangover.
It isn't much fun to wake up with all your clothes on and not remember when you went to sleep or how you got to your bed. I would also leave all the lights on in the house, the front door standing wide open, my car unlocked, all the cupboards open. The list goes on.
It also sounds like you've reached the point of the saying (which is so very true) that you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. I repeat that saying in my head several times a day when I find my mind wandering.
Another saying that I like to say to myself is this:
Drinking was no longer working for me.
This especially helped me in the first few days because it is simple, not too dramatic in the positive or negative way, just plain and simple.
I'm glad you're here and I look forward to reading more of your posts!
I'm glad you're here. I can relate to so much in your post. One of the biggest steps for me was accepting that I can't drink like other, non-alcoholics do. They don't have the obsession with drinking like me.
One sign for me was, like you said, they drink and stop after a few without any planning, counting the cans, or wondering where and when they'll get the next one. One of my biggest surprises was how they could do this at a lunch time barbeque. I could hold myself off from starting to drink until 7, 8, 9 pm but once I had the first, they had to keep coming until I went to sleep (on a good night), passed out (on a not so good night), or blacked out (horrible night). I lost control of planning which night I would have, like spinning the wheel of fortune. Some of my worst blackout episodes were on nights when I was in a great mood and some of my happy-tuck-myself-into-bed-early nights were when my mood was terrible. What an exhausting and frightening cycle.
My fantasy at the time (through a deluded mind) was to pretty much drink all the time. I never wanted the party to end, but the nasty, daily hangovers always got in the way. I can also relate to the urge to drink even on the days when you can barely get out of bed. Those were the days when I wanted to drink more than any other to get rid of the hangover.
It isn't much fun to wake up with all your clothes on and not remember when you went to sleep or how you got to your bed. I would also leave all the lights on in the house, the front door standing wide open, my car unlocked, all the cupboards open. The list goes on.
It also sounds like you've reached the point of the saying (which is so very true) that you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. I repeat that saying in my head several times a day when I find my mind wandering.
Another saying that I like to say to myself is this:
Drinking was no longer working for me.
This especially helped me in the first few days because it is simple, not too dramatic in the positive or negative way, just plain and simple.
I'm glad you're here and I look forward to reading more of your posts!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Wheel of Fortune.... :rotfxko
I'm glad you can bring comedy into what I may categorize as devastatingly sick day for me. Takes my mind off the gut rot, shakes, dizziness, chills, etc. I'm still suffering.
Yea, I knew it was time to give up after about a week or two of drinking before work. Heck, I've been so hammered that I don't even remember how long I been going to work half buzzed. And it's really bad when I'd wake up with some beer left from a few hours before and chug that without puking then straight to the frig for another fresh beer.
That's been my routine most recently and knew sooner or later I'd get canned from work amongst other things.
SR...
I'm glad you can bring comedy into what I may categorize as devastatingly sick day for me. Takes my mind off the gut rot, shakes, dizziness, chills, etc. I'm still suffering.
Yea, I knew it was time to give up after about a week or two of drinking before work. Heck, I've been so hammered that I don't even remember how long I been going to work half buzzed. And it's really bad when I'd wake up with some beer left from a few hours before and chug that without puking then straight to the frig for another fresh beer.
That's been my routine most recently and knew sooner or later I'd get canned from work amongst other things.
SR...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by Kitey
Thanks Cat for the welcome and your kind reply. Yes, it feels pretty good not drinking, infact better than being Mortal, Im sure we can will each other on.. this forum is a godsend!
And 10 4 on the godsend!
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