I think the thing to ponder is why on earth you would feel guilty that someone you care about is not drinking. You feel sorry for him?
That is what you need to figure out IMO.
I understand what you are saying because I often experience the same feelings. At least for me, it had nothing to do with what my partner was doing, or thinking, or saying. It was internal. It isn't healthy. I believe that it is part of my co-dependent behaviors that I must address.