Originally Posted by katie28

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have lived together for 3. When we got together he did some party drugs and was not working.

Where does an unemployed man get the money for party drugs?

His mother then was diagnosed with cancer about 12 months ago and he got progressively worse until she passed away about 3 months ago when he went completely off the rails.

Sounds like rationalizing his drug use.

He had always been very selfish and a narcissist .....

He got off everything but the benzo's and he admitted that he was frightened to get off them and that's why he left. He is trying to continue on the path to recovery and hasn't gone backwards yet.

This is not recovery. This is someone playing at recovery and/or lying to himself and others.

He said that he needs time to focus on himself and get himself together before he can look at our relationship and that for the past 12 months he has thought of me as just a chore and wasn't in love with me anymore.

Believe him.

He said that he cant talk to me as it could set him back into relapsing as he cant deal with the fact that he hurt me at the moment.

BS. You are not powerful enough to cause anyone to relapse.

He can however see his other friends but not me which hurts me very much. He says I'm not emotionally mature enough and needs some time away from me, but to me it seems like he is just continuing to punish me.


He prefers the company of people who will not call him on the carpet for it. That this hurts you is your choice.

He has punished and manipulated me for a long time and said that I enabled him to do drugs as I took care of him by cooking and cleaning and looking after his dogs so I was allowing him to get away with not putting in effort.

More BS from the manipulator.

I love him very much but don't know if I can deal with it anymore.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice? I don't know what to do