He had always been very selfish and a narcissist...
he had completely withdrawn from our relationship and wouldn't give me any help around the house or even do anything for my birthday....
but is completely avoiding me...
he has thought of me as just a chore and wasn't in love with me anymore...
He says I'm not emotionally mature enough and needs some time away from me...
He has punished and manipulated me for a long time...
I just feel like he uses me as a punching bag...
I have been putting in effort for 4 years with nothing in return, why should I keep trying.... Now, that's an excellent question!
Why do you want to be with someone like this? Don't you feel deserve better?
As for your question. Yes, many years ago I was in a situation like this.
I suffer from low self esteem, and allowed another man to make me feel like I was of no value to Him or myself. And the worse I allowed him to make me feel, the more I felt I needed to prove to Him that I was worthy.
Listen, he's telling you that He wants to be away from you. He's telling you what He wants...now it's time to figure out what YOU want for yourself.
Do you REALLY want to be with someone who treats you so poorly?
The way I see it, he's doing you a BIG FAVOR LADY!! You just don't see it yet.
Men like this have become my DOC over the years, I see that now. You need a good DETOX period AWAY from Him. No contact would be the best thing you could do for yourself. It's not easy to go NO CONTACT...many of us here can share with you how difficult that can be.
But when you're ready to take the journey, ready to figure out WHY you keep choosing people like this to spend your life with, ready to make the real CHANGE for yourself that you need....it makes the process much easier.
Codependent No More is a great book, and an excellent place to start.