If and when he has his epiphany, he knows how to reach you.
Of course, I think apologizing is good for the soul. We've all done things we're not proud of when in the tumult of this disease. Out of desperation...out of legitimate anger...out of feeling frustrated and tired.
I wish I had a nickle for all the tears we have all cried for the people we've lost to this horrible disease. I'd be a wealthy woman. And I'd probably donate the bulk of it to some rehab organization.
**{hugs}} we're here for you.
Originally Posted by
missb89 
So the best solution is just to have no contact with him at all? I can swallow this but it will be so so very hard seeing as how I am practially waiting for the phone to ring because I want to believe that he needs me, and that in just a matter of minutes he'll reach his epiphany.
I guess when he calls to try to arrange a time to see Ayla tomorrow I am going to have to explain to him that this cannot and will not work. However, I do want to apologize to him about the way that I tried to make him quit though, and all the nasty, degrading things that I said to him. I truly was a monster as well, and I am ashamed of myself for it now. I want him to know that I DO love him and that I wish the best for him and that I truly hope one day he'll find the strength and realization to quit but that I cannot sit by and be a part of it anymore. I do not want to be angry anymore. As I'm writing this I am bawling my eyes out because I cannot imagine my life without him, even if it was sometimes miserable, I feel a tremendoius loss.