Welcome to SR, Akrasia.
Lots of good stuff already shared with you.
My name is DeVon, and I am a recovering alcoholic/addict, was married to an alcoholic/addict, and I have a 32 year old daughter who's an active addict/alcoholic.
I also have a 22 year old daughter who is with an emotionally/verbally abusive alcoholic boyfriend.
Today, I give them the dignity to make their own choices in life, no matter how 'poor' those choices may seem to me.
I had to hit my own bottom before I embraced recovery, and I give them the same opportunity.
I agree 100% with Pelican in regards to not tending to him while he's nursing a hangover.
I am grateful for how ill I truly was when I first got clean/sober. Had I someone nursing me along, I would not have had much incentive to stay sober, would I?
I'd recommend getting your hands on a copy of the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Also check to see if there are Alanon meetings in your area.
There you will find the face-to-face support of others who have been where you are.
Alanon has been a lifesaver for me.
Again, welcome, and know you are among people who understand and care. )