OMG. your situation runs so close to mine and others here. You are not alone. But, I have some hope for you because he said, "I'm tired of living this way." I've heard AAers say, "when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired...". That is ultimately what gets them into a program, if they're lucky...I should say, ready. As far as what to say or not to say when you have the big talk, you might just say, "I'm tired of living this way, too." And just let that sit there for him to think about. If he seeks treatment, they usually have a family support group too where you will learn how to quit enabling him;this is your life too. I'm only learning this and I've been in programs off an on for years. That "off" part is now fixed because of this on-line group. So, while I am merely a step or two ahead of you, I hope you don't have to suffer as long as I have before something happens. It's all in God's hands, if you let him take it. "Let go and let God!" He'll let you know what to do about you! He'll also take care of your husband..in His time, in His way. Maybe this is the time. I hope so, for your sake.
In answer to your ongoing angst , the worst thing that can happen to an alcoholic is NO or few consequences.But that doesn't change the outcome. In fact, it can hinder recovery. They either get sober, go to jail or die. I think we loved ones are so conditioned to "help" that we don't realize that (not) to do in each of those circumstances is probably the best thing. We don't want to imagine the unimaginable, but it's important to have an action (or inaction) plan for each. Understand too that getting sober carries risks too. Some couples still don't make it. So be prepared for that. But, take it One Day at a Time. Listen to God, if you believe, or figure out something to be your HP (higher power) and to your inner grown up self. If you're like most people, you married for love, but you don't have to die for it. He is probably not the same person you married. It's a progressive, cunning disease that affects both of you, so keep coming here and consider finding an Al Anon group where you can have real live people there around you.
Let us know how it goes. This forum has helped me in many ways already and I've only been here a couple of weeks. I'll keep you in my prayers.