Yes, L2L, I have friends in my life. Last wkend spent 4th of July with a girlfriend up North a couple of hours. She had a BBQ with her family. It was nice. But came back in the same funk. Had lots of offers for the 4th, which was nice. Came home tonight after work and slept. Not sure if it's because I was tired, or depressed. But feel slightly better at the moment.
Kelsh - I'm so glad your husband came home and that your lives are good together!
Still - yes, I'm mourning the loss. It's so stupid. I can't ever be with him again, yet I mourn. Blah.
Anvil - thanks for all the suggestions... yes, I take hormones to keep in balance.
Thank you ALL for your encouragement.
I know it's stupid, but I keep thinking that I'd rather live with him than die without him. It's not really true. If I went back to him, even if he'd take me back, which he probably wouldn't, I'd surely die with him. And I'm not going to die without him. Even if I felt suicidal, I couldn't do it because it would hurt so many people, and I wouldn't do that.
It's tough. But I know I'll get through it. I'm so glad you all are there with me. And I'm sorry to those I've encouraged in the past who now see me struggling.